Rob’s Top 10 friends throughout history
- Kim Jong-un- I really wanted to congratulate our glorious supreme leader Kim Jong-un as he has just received his economics doctorate from a university in Malaysia. The leader of #1 Best Korea has accomplished something that I’ll never be able to in my life. He has earned a PhD. It’s also important to note that he has successfully completed a third nuclear test.
- Bo- Bo has recently reminded me of the importance of friendship. When someone comes at your friends’ neck, it doesn’t matter. It’s your responsibility to go nuts and get their back. No matter how old you are, you’re never too old to act up. The only drawback is that you have to go to a legal hearing and miss flag football.
- Hamilton ‘Ham’ Porter- Ham is one of the greatest trash talkers and insult throwers in sports history. To authority figures, Ham is just the sweet chubby kid who tries his hardest. His teammates know him as a player who can get in the other teams head, is tenacious, and isn’t afraid to push the limits of the rules. Ham always reminds me to present yourself to ‘The Man’ in one light and push the limits when he has his back turned to get any advantage.
- Temple Bowling- I am goods at Bowling.
- Barbaro- I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Barbaro. In the 2006 Kentucky Derby Barbaro went off with a WIN bet at $14.20 and my $1,000 WIN bet returned me a net winning of $7,100. I was in love with Barbaro until I bet another $1,000 in the Preakness Stakes and he attempted to leave the gate early and broke his right hind leg in over 20 places. He finished last and I lost $1,000. Also, I would like to give thumbs down to jockey Edgar Prado for attempting to jump the gate early. I’m not over it yet.
- Veterans Stadium- You know you’re in Philly when you’re there. Inside the ballpark, there’s that Rocky-ish, we’re-underdogs-but-we’re-tough aura. Watching the Eagles play at Lincoln Financial Field reminded me that they haven’t won a home game in over a year, since September 2012. I just want to cheer for injuries, throw snowballs at Santa, and D batteries at JD Drew. So long, Vet. You will be missed. Bring back The Vet!
- Andy Dufresne- I turned on my favorite movie today. Andy knows that it’s what’s in your heart that makes you what you are. Even if you crawl through a river of turds, you can still come out clean on the other side, if you’re following your dreams. I hope to visit Zihuatanejo someday.
- Inspector 34- A friend of mine called me Inspector 34 as a joke this week. It made me realize that no matter how hard you try, or how perfect you think you are, you will never do anything right. You will always screw things up in your life, and most things don’t matter. For example, some people can’t even eat BBQ correctly (or even decide on what’s correct). It’s best not to try hard at anything.
- SEPTA- I wanted to thank SEPTA for not only being late twice this week, but allowing me to tell my professors three times this week, that I was late because of SEPTA. I enjoy the fact that the professors join my side when I mention how much I hate SEPTA and now have an Ace up my sleeve for lateness.
- Mike Milsted- I don’t really know what to say. Just shake this guy’s hand, if you see him walking around campus, and make a new friend.